Top 3 New Year’s Resolutions

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Soo, weren’t you all waiting so impatiently for my list of 2014 resolutions!??

This year I didn’t want to make a list but after all, but I still had some goals in mind for this new year so I might as well just make one.

1-      I don’t want to be tired anymore. Ever.
I need to do my best in order to keep my energy; not waste it on things that are not worth it, unimportant situation or people, sleep sufficiently and control my emotions more.

2-      I want to be able to be the best version of myself at all time.
I don’t want to be less than that in my life. And of course, improve myself constantly.

3-      I need to build my self-confidence.
It’s so stupid that I have to worry about that but actually; it’s causing me a lot of sorrow. I need to love myself to be able to love others as well.

As for my ambitions: I want to be successful in school, find a cool job in my field (as a student), create more friendships with the people around me, and build a stronger relationship with my lover everyday. That’s pretty much it for now. 

I’m only sharing (modestly), maybe I can inspire (?)

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Je suis perdue (I’m lost, help me)

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I am tired as fuck, and sick and tired.

I think that I really need some time, alone, and time with my friends.
I don’t know …my life’s seems so out of control.
My routine has driven my personality completely out.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
I feel drained and dispossessed.

I seriously lack confidence and vital energy.

And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know WHAT TO DO.

I am lost.

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2014 : Be The Change…

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« Be the change you want to see in the world »

It is everything BUT a moralizing sentence; it is not meant to teach us to mind our “own business”, it is simply one basic law of nature. It is absolutely true that we must begin by ourselves when we want to change the world.

Also, how can you change something you have no control over if you can’t even change things you can control?

The truth is: our life is simply a microcosm of the world and universe.

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The post where I talk about my obsession

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I need to talk about something.

I am totally OBSESSED with my hair. Not because I love my hair, but because I want it to grow long, fast and healthy.

I am always touching my hair, brushing them, constantly looking for split ends to cut. I put a hundred bucks worth of shampoo, conditioner and hair cream in my hair every time I wash it and I also take 2 pills of special vitamins every day to help it grow.

I know, it’s creepy. I just can’t help it.

It became my principal source of lack of self-confidence and my main concern. It’s actually kind of sad and pathetic but. I keep hoping all this will end when my hair will grow longer … Or will it?

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Self-Esteem

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I know it’s a little bit early for New Year’s resolutions but

I really need more self-confidence.  :/

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Here, your Nobel Prize!

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People often say: « If you want to change, do it for the right reasons; do it for yourself ».

And I would think “I don’t want to change for myself, I am very content with myself, actually….I want to do it because other people think that it would be a good idea. And because I want to please.”

The thing is, sadly, you could become fucking mother teresa, nobody is going to give you a medal. No matter how much effort you put out everyday to be a better person, they are still going to focus on your flaws. And that, my friends, is precisely the reason why you should always change in order to become the person YOU want to be.

Friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, (and unfortunately, even family members sometimes) they come and go in your life, anyways.

We should focus more on doing the right thing, always.

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Why I am God, You are God, We All Are

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2013 been a VERY fulfilled year; I cleared all of my debts (ALL of em), I finally finished my college degree and now I am admitted in the program that I wanted, in University.

I did all this while working full-time. Why haven’t I done any of this before? I waited almost 2 years before making any move toward getting my life straight. I was really busy worrying about stuff that didn’t really matter.

I was lucky to meet someone that loves me and has my best interest at heart; he helps me, pushes me and supports me. But everything I accomplished, I did it. My life is finally heading to where I wanted it, but I was the only one who could make things happen. I know for sure because I waited for miracles to happen for 2 years and I lost my precious time and only made things more complicated in the end.

While everything happens for a reason, that doesn’t mean that I was meant to be lazy and chaotic. I had every choice in life. I made every decision that lead me to where I am now. I am 100% responsible of my life, it is my choice to stop looking for excuses, stop looking back (in anger, mostly) and treat every day like a new life, a new opportunity.

We often forget that life is as simple as: life is what you want it to be, is what you make it. And honestly, who ever promised you that an easy life was a successful one? Living in denial, it never made me feel fulfilled, proud and happy. On the contrary, the more I worked, the more I was approached my goals, the more I felt alive and in control. I now feel like I am living a life of my own.

But we are not alone in this. There is this French saying that says: Help yourself, then, the gods will help you. (“Aide-toi et le ciel t’aidera”).

It’s true, I experienced it. There was this time when I did all I could (and I mean everything in my power) to get somewhere. But there were some irregularities in my file and in the bureaucracy we are living in today, it was enough to block me from getting there. But it was so important, I worked really hard, I was checking on the process everyday, calling and emailing every time I could to try to reach someone that could maybe turn things in my favour. After all, I did nothing wrong and I really worked hard to get there. Finally someone heard about my story and she was in a sufficiently good position to change things.

Anyway, this post is getting long and confused.

You are God, You are the mind that created all that you perceive.

Never doubt yourself. You have no idea.

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