« The trick is to be able to protect yourself without being offended by the acts and words of others. To borrow an analogy from Castaneda, if you were out in the jungle, and a wild animal attacked you, you would do everything in your power to protect yourself but it would never occur to you to be personally offended. It is taking offense, not self-protection that is energy draining. »
– Esmeralda Arana, The Path
Archives de Tag: self
I have always been kind of “mystique” in my way of seeing the purpose of life and in my approach of « blooming » and finding my inner strength. But I also give big credits to psychoanalysis which I find to be very enlightening because it admits that parts of our personality are shady and it urges us to embrace every part of it. You gotta know yourself to be yourself.
“Most of the people are convinced that their behaviours and conscious thoughts constitute their entire personality. However, psychoanalysis has shown that there is within us unconscious forces that may influence us and manipulate us. In some cases, they are manifested by symptoms such as phobias, anxiety, or physical ailments. But more often, we’re not aware of their presence and they manipulate us sneakily, removing our freedom of choice and judgment. They then become domestic tyrants.
If we want to help change the world, we must learn to identify these forces and how they combine with external manipulators to prevent us from exercising our power.
The famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud identified two domestic tyrants: the child (he called Id) and the policeman (which he called the superego).”
« The policeman is a domestic tyrant manifested primarily by the ban. Its function is to prevent the wishes of the child can not be expressed consciously. For this, it punishes any action contrary to the law by a strong dose of anxiety and guilt. He acquires too much power, it can make our behaviors and completely rigid and sectarian ideas.
It throws us into the arms of extremist parties, and may base our relationships with our loved ones on authority rather than on understanding and respect. Those who are victims of its influence are willing to commit dramatic acts to escape his punishment. »
(Translated from here)
Where do you stand?
Here is the thing.
I used to be so mean and rude and punk and hateful …A true Riot girl. I think that I convinced myself that it was who I was. Why? I thought that it would make me happy, to just hate everybody right away, so that I wouldn’t ever have to cope with their rejection. The truth is I was so preoccupied about what people thought of me that I was constantly suffering and feeling lonely. I had decided (kind of) to be willingly lonely and hateful (hated), which is, I know, may sound a bit bizarre. But at least, it was my choice. Mine.
I thought that I could convince myself that I didn’t care about what other people say. But that’s not how it works. I was in denial and most of all; I was still under the same kind of pressure, only in a different way. Instead of looking for approval, I was trying to provoke. This way, I could really anticipate their reaction and it worked, I gained confidence every time it went the way that I thought it would. It was so negative. I was soo negative.
I am still lost about my identity. How should I know, after all, it’s not that easy, the path of finding your true self.
But, most important now, I feel like I can see clear.
You are not what they say.